It's strange how much a person can fuck you up.
Ever since we broke up I just feel empty.
Emotionally dead.
Devoid of any feelings besides missing him.
I have kissed a lot of guys/gone on dates/flirted, etc,
but none of them compare to him.

I feel like a shell of a person.
I'm just...........empty inside.
and mostly I am scared this will never go away.

Normally I dont believe in horoscopes....but then i get one like this:

Not much can get in your way today except for your own imagination, which will either spur you on to greater heights or bring on a bit of depression. Still, there is too much going on for you now to fall too deeply into your fears and worries. Use your dreams to create a scenario for the concrete expression of your innermost feelings.

And I think these things may actually be real. How do they know what i am thinking/feeling so well?
And maybe it wouldnt have freaked me out so much if Brent's wasnt equally as true.

Also.....I LOVE THIS SEMESTER!!!!!!

I have never ever in my whole life been so excited for my English classes.
I love both of my seminars and the teachers.
especially chris's bulge
and Stace's "fucks" every other word.
Painting will be just swell.
And bio is easyyyy compared to some of the hard shit i've had to learn
And Lab will be a cake walk thanks to Grazia.
I dont even mind that 4 days a week i have to wake up before 8am.

Major GPA repair will actually happen this semester.

On another note...everyone needs to enjoy this last semester. 
no more being sad/stressed
It's our last freakin' one!!!!


Also..I am so amped on Caffeine right now
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Peace. Love. & Happiness.
♥

I am obsessed with Incubus.
I think I need help.
only 57 more days until I see them!!!!!!
eeeeeeeeeekkkk

(also brent = brandon boyd. you cant deny it.)

Two things that nearly made me pee my pants:



+



They are from threadless.com and I wear a size M
if anyone wants to buy them for me for x-mas.

After Thursday all I have left is a final drawing and a paper.
sahhhweeet.

I have become one of those people who just doesn't care.
 school used to = my life.
now i could care less.
all i want to do is graduate.

I realized today that I have been drunk for almost 90% of this semester so far.
Some evidence:

This was taken the second night in our apartment

It's always a bad sign when you cant even sit up on your own

I fell down drunk after Nicky peed in the corner of TJ Maxx

I don't even remember this or the party

This is pretty much what we deal with every sunday morning.

I'm a little worried about my grades this year. 
I think this could be the semester that I dont make Dean's List.

Do I even care?
Not really and that's the problem.

Case in point my plans for the next 4 days:
Tonight  -- Dancing at the Kels/bar hopping
Thursday -- Dancing drunk at Rocktoberfest
Friday -- Nicky and Amanda's b-day party
Saturday -- Probably hanging out drunk in a gutter somewhere.

Good times. Good times.

I haven't updated this thing in months. Does anyone even use LJ anymore?

Life is.....confusing. I probably wouldn't want it any different though.
I really miss: my mom and dad, my cat, NH, fall foliage, my sisters, my car.

I need to do major GPA repair. I have slacked off a lot this semester. A lot lot. 
I just have senioritis so bad. It's really difficult getting work done.

Enough words. picture time:





Sometimes I kiss Amanda


Sometimes I try making out with Jessica


Most of the time I just try eating people.


And this has basically been my semester.


Peace out

Dear Friends:

 
This is the best stuff EVER created. I would sell my first born to get a lifetime supply of this stuff. Seriously.

In other news: Summer's almost over and I am pretty happy about that. Not that I dont love Summer, 
but I am ready to get back to school and live in my apartment and have more than 2 friends again.

After an unfortunate accident involving some water, a dock, and my clumsy feet,
I finally got the finishing touches on my front tooth. I wanted to get a set of grills but my dad said no. (just kidding)

So I am dating this really nice boy. It's casual and fun. And its helping me get over Mark.
Me = not a relationship person. So I figure i'll just keep him as a nice summer fling.

I'm getting my hair cut next week. I want something drastically different.
I'm considering bangs. Like real bangs, not those fake things i try and pass off as bangs.
suggestions?

It's supposed to be 100 Degrees Farenheit tomorrow. And it's 99 Degrees today.
So I plan on living at the lake today and tomorrow. So if you need me you can find me swimming with the fishes.
(but not in the Mafia sense).

Later.
Jackie

So far this summer I have :
been working 40+ hours a week
read 4 books
talked on the phone to Mark nearly every night
bought lots of clothes
only been drunk once
not found an internship
been ridiculously tired and sick these past few days
cursed mother nature and the rain
been missing Boston and friends like woah!

[the end back to work]

2 am phone calls that last for an hour
are my favorite thing.

So I'm sorry I've been such a moody bitch these past few days.
I measure all of my self worth by my grades
I think I may pull out a 4.0 this semester so the past 4 months of stress were worth it.


I wish I was staying in Boston for the summer.
But not having to see the same people everyday will be nice. 
I like variety.
But I will miss my friends so much.
I'm not really sure I know how to function without you all.

So now I am going to enjoy the fact that I am done with the semester from hell.
And I am going to enjoy this weather.

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow:

Congratulations on your new baby boy. I heard he was born this weekend (possibly on my birthday). 
Having kids is supposed to be amazing (i wouldnt nor probably will ever know).
But I have a problem with your choice of name.
I have defended you for two years now and feel like you are pushing it with this one.
I mean, even when "sky captain and the world of tomorrow" was said to be the worst movie of the year,
I tried to stay positive and point out how funny some parts of it was.
No one liked your perfromance in "Sylvia" but me.
And I even bought "Proof" and am probably the only person in the whole world.
I defended your gown choice for this years golden globes pointing out that
Balenciaga is a kinda "out there" fashion house and you were just trying to be original.
I even defended your weird accent at this years Golden Globes where you pronounced
"anthony" weird whilst presenting to Anthony Hopkins blaming it on the fact that
you've been spending a lot of time in England lately.
And I've even been defending your recent choice of movie roles including "infamous" which 
is just a copy of "Capote" minus Philip Seymour Hoffman's brillant performance.
I've even defended your daughter's name, Apple.
But MOSES? How the fuck am I supposed to defened that?
You've let me down on this one. 
And I'm not sure we can repair this relationship.
I'm heart broken.

Sincerely,
Your (possibly) former #1 fan
Jacqueline B. Masten

I am updating for Sima.

These past few days have been Beautiful
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday were amazing.
I love walking in the city. 

Jess, Nicky and I found the most beautiful apartment in coolidge corner.
I hope we get it.

I am at work. Blah. And I've done nothing this whole time. 
How lazy.

We change our clocks tomorrow. I hate that.


My birthday is in 6 days. Who wants to come celebrate at the bars?

That is all.

Got my semester grades....my best semester yet!

In other news...As a retirement gift my dad bought himself an RV. Its ghetto. Like really ghetto. But my dad likes to buy crappy things and then make them beautiful. He did it with his boat, so I shall reserve my judgement until its all fixed up. I just briefly mentioned to him that a bunch of us might possibly want to go to Miami for spring break. Today he came to me with the whole trip planned out. So the thing sleeps six..that means there are 3 available spots. So if anyone doesn't mind spending a few days with my insane family and wants to go on a trip to Florida this March, let me know.

Christmas is soon. Really soon.

umm..that's it. My plan for today is to rearrange and decorate my room. Fun, huh?